Wizards Have Terrible Grammar: My Initial Impressions of Wizard101

Wizards do indeed have terrible grammar in Wizard101, though I should note it’s mostly not the fault of the people playing them: it’s mostly due to a draconic chat filter that makes it nearly impossible to speak without finding many of your words replaced by ellipses.

And no, it’s not because I fucking swear all the goddamn time.  I’m not a classless asshole.  I tried to tell the friend I am playing with, a Glitch alum known in Ur-that-was as Beans, Obviously, (yes, the Obviously is part of the name, that’s why it is capitalized, obviously) that a fight had kicked my bum.  Bum would not type out.

Neither would numbers or number words (6 or six, respectively) — which I assume is part of the safety measures intended to keep children from sharing their “friend code” — a code that lets players add someone to their friend list who is not standing next to them, a precaution so that children cannot be sought out by internet strangers, I guess.

But the only real result is that the local chat channels are filled with mangled garbage that passes for English sentences.  For example, if a player needs someone level 6 or above, they type level sixth, as ordinal numbers are not filtered (though the word ordinal is). Their hearts are in the right place at KingsIsle Entertainment, I’m sure.  But as a writer and a once aspiring English teacher, all I can do is contemplate the horrible effect such examples have, an effect that goes above and beyond normal netspeak and produces some really twisted sentence constructs.

As a result of viewing these twisted constructs, I’ve come to find the chat filter completely useless.  The kids seem to find ways around it, so the filter serves no real purpose except as a security blanket for clueless parents.  And a severe roadblock in your average child’s English education.

Oh but the game is fun.  Runs a little more saccharine than my usual taste, but the turn based combat has some interesting tactics that appear to grow more complex with time.  And it works well with a small group of 2 – 4.  The game certainly feels like a Harry Potter MMO without the Harry Potter.  And that makes Beans rather happy and makes Havok likely to join us at some point (do eeeeet).

Beans has progressed to level 10, and I have only reached level 6.  Once I’ve spent a little more time in game, I’ll publish a Wizard101 review about something other than the effect chat filters might have on impressionable young minds.